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On August 9, 2014, an unarmed young black man, who recently graduated from Normandy High School, was executed. Big Mike. However, the world knows him as Michael Brown. Days and weeks after the death of Michael Brown — at the hands of Officer Darren Wilson — the media portrayed Brown as a menace. A danger. A thug.

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee expressed that Big Mike “could have avoided that if he’d have behaved like something other than a thug.” He wasn’t the only one who shared this sentiment. Many political officials and news correspondents proclaimed that Big Mike fell to his demise because of his thugary; that Trayvon Martin was hunted down at the age of 17 by a wanna-be cop because of his thug-like attire (i.e. hoodie); that Jordan Davis was slain at the age of 17 because of his loud “thug music”; that people who are tired of their voices being neglected, and their bodies treated as shooting range targets are thugs because they choose to use the only language the country understands.

Thug became synonymous with Black. Black synonymous with threat. So thug became synonymous with me.

There are different definitions and interpretations of what a thug is. Many believe a thug to be a gangster. A hoodlum. A violent person engaged in criminal activity. This individual’s uniform is believed to consist of sagged pants, a dark hoodie, and black skin. Thugs are thought to cause trouble as if trouble is a distant family member whose genes were inherited. A thug’s life seems to be engulfed in the desire to cause harm and to flex cold-heartedness. Tupac would disagree with this. Tupac Shakur believed a thug’s life was filled with hatred that was bottle-fed to them as infants. And what those li’l ones grew up to be was what society molded them to be … The Hatred U Give Li’l Infants Fucks Everyone (THUG LIFE).

Pac’s words remind me of when James Baldwin compelled White folks to figure out why they invented the negro. Why do White supremacist power structures feed black bodies, resulting in Black folks internalizing that hatred and devastating our own being? Why do White supremacist power structures kill Black people twice? The first murder physically. The second murder socially. When Botham Jean was murdered in his home by an officer in 2018, why was the weed found in his home the highlight, and not the search warrant used to justify his death? Why was Korryn Gaines killed at 23 years old because officers were indifferent about her mental illness? Why was Allen Fanning, from Englewood, killed by police at 18 years old, but Dylann Roof was arrested and taken to Burger King after murdering nine loving people?

We shouldn’t die because of smoking weed. We shouldn’t die because of our need to feel the music due to our spiritual connection to head-nodding baselines and hard-hitting drums. We shouldn’t die because it’s raining, and we need to protect our crown. We shouldn’t fear of never waking up because of incompetent police killing us in our sleep. We shouldn’t have to be innocent to avoid execution. We shouldn’t die because we’re jogging. And “I can’t breathe … mama!” shouldn’t be our last words.

George Floyd wasn’t resisting. He was gasping for breath, pleading to the officer with his knee in his neck, eerily familiar to the knee of White supremacy on the neck of Black people, to allow him to breathe. George Floyd should still be breathing. Breonna Taylor was sleeping. The police conducted an illegal no-knock warrant at her home. Breonna was killed by police because her boyfriend, Kenneth Walker, was protecting her. Tony McDade was killed because he dared to be authentic. He dared to be genuine. He dared to live as himself. Black LGBTQ people are at greater risk of violence every day in this country.

Ahmaud Arbery should still be feeling the wind against his face on an ordinary day. However, the assumption of Black people being violent criminals since birth traveled above him like a darkened cloud. The same way it has traveled with others who look like him. The father and son duo who murdered him thought he was a thug. No matter how fast he was going, White supremacy was faster. After being shot at point-blank range with a shotgun and having the will to stumble away — attempting to run into a different reality where Black folks are free to be ordinary — he fell, face-first into the pavement, left to bleed out, in the same way George Floyd was. The same way Big Mike was.

On August 11, 2014, I got THUG LIFE tatted on me in response to the death of Michael Brown. I figured, if they see us as thugs, why not embrace it? When I show my tattoo, which sits on my left hip like a pistol ready to be drawn, friends laugh and say “you no thug!” I smirk and let it rock. But little do they know we’re all thugs. We’re all filled with animus. We’re all filled with despair.

Nevertheless, we continue to live with our heads held high. Michael, Trayvon, Breonna, Nina, Botham, Ahmuad, and many, many others lived in a world that was scared of them. And the world flinched by killing them when they dared to live. Racist Whiteness responds excessively to Blackness. Racist Whiteness calls us rioters when we are rebelling against structural racism. Racist Whiteness calls Patrick Henry a hero, and Malcolm X a terrorist. Racist Whiteness calls cops peaceful, and us thugs.

Let me be clear. There are thugs who do the work of reconstructing a just society by their very actions; influenced by society’s hatred to be better, to rebel in organized resistance. I call this The Hatred U Give Little Infants Frees Everyone. And then there are thugs who are influenced by hate, and fuck everyone. Especially Black people.

Fraternally,

Bro. Torrence Brown
Delta Delta Sigma Chapter
Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Incorporated